I absolutely love the night skies. There are several events that brought this love about into my life. I would love to share with all of you what they were. The first thing was that when I was a young girl my parents divorced. After my dad left I remember receiving a newsletter in the mail from our local Planetarium. This was a wise and wonderful gift to me, from my earthly father. This inexpensive but powerful gift was the beginning of a love that would later bring about a chain of events in my life. It took my dad no time at all to sign me up for that newsletter. But the ripple effect of doing so still shows in my life today. What my father did for me left a huge imprint on my life. That imprint he left managed to spin a legacy of love that has echoed throughout my life up until now. I know that echo of love will continue on and be felt and heard throughout all the generations that are yet to come.
I learned something very important through the example of what my father did for me. As a mother I too have the power to make a difference in the life of my child. The impact I make in their life has the power to leave a lifelong memory as well. As their mother it is my hearts desire to build only memories that will be cherished throughout their lifetime. It is never my goal to leave a memory that will bring them any hurt or sadness whenever it is thought of.
Knowing that I have this power it helps me to think before I speak. A rule I have made for myself is this, before speaking I will ask myself this, "Is what I am about to say going to leave a lasting memory of good or bad in their hearts and lives?" This is a great way to keep my tongue in check and be sure I am speaking the things of God to my children. Now please do not think I have perfected this for I truly have not. I am still human. Thank God my children are so loving and forgiving and that God has given me Grace when I slip up. Whenever I ask for forgiveness after messing up my children are quick to forgive and the Lord is so very gracious to me too. I make it a point to be humble and always admit when I am wrong, because I learned that forgiveness comes easy to those who are truly repentant!
Sheree is another special reason why I love the night skies. I met Sheree 6 years ago via the internet. We met on an online women's group called Above Rubies. We hit it off instantly. We first started talking because we both had a love for the night skies. From that point on we became the best of friends, true kindred sisters, it has felt like we have known each other all our lives. Even my children fell in love with her instantly so she automatically became Aunt Sheree to them. Nobody ever had to ask permission to call her that it just felt like the right thing to do so we did it. She is an amazing and true friend and I treasure her greatly!
Something that I learned later on in life is that my Heavenly Father was always there long before I ever knew He existed. He was there silently working behind the scenes as he prepared the path I would one day take to find Him. As I spent time falling in love with the night skies, my Heavenly Father was using that time planting just the right seeds into my life. Those seeds He planted were slowly growing and maturing into a love and faith in my heart that would one day be only for Him. This love would be one that would last a lifetime. He captivated me through such majestic beauty. Beauty that He created in those vast beautiful skies of stars and planets. Whenever I looked up I remembered feeling such a peace. I felt safe and calm like everything was going to be okay. I didn't understand why but I just knew it was all going to work out.
It amazes me so much when I think about what I gained through losing my earthly father. He left me with a gift that sparked my interest in the heavenly skies. But the best gift of all is that through that gift He lead me to my heavenly father without even knowing that is what he was doing. Isn't it amazing how God will always bring good out of a bad situation? If only we would take more time to find that good he brings about. We just don't ever know what the Lord is doing behind the scenes. We tend to focus on the bad instead of trying to find what good may follow. Of course I would of loved to have my earthly father around but we have a wonderful relationship today! All was not lost! All because of God!
Well recently on Aug. 12th my dear friend Sheree told me that there would be a Perseid Meteor shower taking place in the night skies. So at 11pm I took all the other little ones, grabbed lots of blankets and pillows and headed out into our dark country property to lay under the vast and amazing night skies. We layed under the stars waiting to see quite a show. My son and I noticed the first earth grazer (as Sheree calls them). They are large, slow fireballs that graze the sky, absolutely awesome. Then we saw another one right after it, wow what a great start, this is going to be great. Unfortunately my 5 yr old daughter was not seeing any of them. Hmmm I thought oh well she will see the others. So as we lay there, time kept on passing, she did she happened to see one shooting star after a long time and she so very excited. YEAH!!! This was such a special time to me I wanted my children to have a love of the night sky as I did. It was such a memorable part of my life and it replaced so much of my sadness with so much joy while I was growing up. These skies are what brought me close to my Heavenly Father surely it will bring my children close to them. They will experience Him the way I did back then.
My 4 yr old was fizzling out, my 3 yr old twin seemed distracted and my other twin saw an airplane and said "Look Mommy shooting star then fell asleep" lol. I guess she had her fill, a flying airplane at night was enough of a shooting star for her. Well I still had hopes that my 5 yr old daughter would see be seeing more shooting stars. I prayed for her, I pleaded for the Lord to please let her be blown away as I always was by his amazing beauty through those awesome stars. So I waited, nothing....hmmmm I didn't understand. I questioned the Lord, "Lord why isn't she experiencing and feeling what I did when I was young?" "Why haven't you spoken to her through the stars as you did to me when I was young?
I finally gave up and came into the house feeling totally disappointed and defeated. I put them all to bed and then I suddenly had an exciting thought. Wait, I thought early morning, right before sunrise is when the peak Perseid meteors will take place. Maybe God wants to give her the show of her life. He wants he to be completely blown away! More so than I ever was. So I set my alarm all ready to wake up, get my daughter and head outside to watch the look of amazement on her face. Well there was a look of amazement but it was on my face only. When I awoke to the sun being already up ~Sigh again.~
I couldn't believe that I set my alarm for PM not AM. What are the chances of that? Was God trying to tell me something? "Lord what am I missing here? "What are you trying to tell me?" "Am I so caught up in what I want that I am missing what you want"? "Please tell me what I have been too close minded to hear all night." "I am listening now Lord, I am sorry I have been so busy doing my own thing I haven't stopped for a moment to listen to you first"....
Well what I heard was clear as day...."My dear daughter, what I did , back when you were young, by using the night skies to show myself real to you and lead you to me is not what I will use to speak to your daughter and show myself real to her." "I created you all so individually and uniquely and I plant unique seeds into each of my children's lives.""I have unique ways of revealing myself to each and everyone of you and through those ways is how you will find your path to me." The manner that I know will work best for each of you is what I use."You are all unique and so my ways are unique." "What you went through as a child is not anything your precious daughter can ever relate to." "I have a special way of showing myself to her and it will not be the same way i showed myself real to you. ""It will be my way dear daughter not yours"... "You must step back let go and let God."
Well it was as if a light bulb went off in my head and it all made sense. I am not God yet I was trying to be Him in how I wanted my daughter to truly experience Him. How she relates to Him is going to be unique and special. It is just like me with my children. I don't relate to each of them the same way. They are all unique and special and because of that they require me to handle them differently. Now I get it. I was yet again in awe of my Lord through His majestic skies but my daughter would find that awe in whatever it is the Lord chose for her.
God was teaching me that He works in each and everyone of our lives in a way He sees fit. One that He knows will reach our hearts the thing He is after. My Heavenly Father used my love for nature and my awe of the skies to reach my heart and soul and it worked. My sweet girl needs something else and my Heavenly Father knows exactly what that is. Who am I to argue with the Lord, although I must admit I was very disappointed at first when my requests were being denied. It was a reminder that God hears our every prayer but sometimes the answer is no because He knows best. His ways are better than my own. His ways are not my own. I may not understand what He does but I can wholeheartedly trust that His ways are far better than mine will ever be and will without a doubt His ways will bring definite results unlike my failed attempts. I am thankful for His wisdom and appreciative of His patience with me and my lack of knowledge due to my narrow scope of vision compared to the Almighty.
Dearest Lord thank you for winning my heart. I know, when I look back, I see how you won my heart and I know you will win the heart of each and every one of my children! Thank you for being so wise and thank you for forgiving me for being so blind! In Your Precious name I pray!! Amen~
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