Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Giving things up....

Giving Things Up....











This baba sheep, my precious daughter is holding in these pictures, was something she absolutely loved. It went everywhere she went. She loved tickling her face with it and if you happened to be sitting by her she would tickle yours too. She especially enjoyed rubbing on it at bed time as she sucked two of her fingers. She was not my first to have something she enjoyed carrying around with her at all times. I had several other children who, when they were younger, also had a special item they enjoyed carrying around with them where ever they went.

One of my sons carried around a stuffed animal donkey that was once mine. I was going to give it away but when he saw it he fell in love with it, so I gave it to him. He held this donkey so much that he literally rubbed off several patches of the hair on it's body. Even though he loved it to pieces there came a day when he decided, on his own, that it was time to put donkey away and not carry it around anymore. He now stores it away in his bedroom in his box of personal stuff.

I am not exempt from having my own items of comfort. I have a stuffed animal bear my husband gave me 17 yrs ago. During the times my husband is not around and I am missing him I will hug on that bear. In doing so I feel like I am holding part of him close to me even though he is not here. I don't carry it around with me but I do use it when I feel the need or desire to.

I never saw a problem with our children having a particular item that they enjoyed having with them. If it brought them comfort to carry them around I had no problem with it. Especially when they were special items someone made or bought for them. As long as that item was not a source of problems in any way such as being the cause of disobedience or endangering them in any way, they were allowed to keep it. Let me give you an example.....

One of my boys carried around a soft thread like knitted blanket. Due to the design of this blanket it had many little holes in it. These holes frequently ripped and became one big hole. I was constantly repairing it but it just continued to get worse over time. The blanket finally became too bad that I could no longer repair it. It ended up with a huge hole that I just couldn't fix. At that point my husband felt that the blanket had become unsafe for my son to keep due to the possibility of strangulation. We told him due to safety reasons we needed to put his blanket away. But we didn't feel it was necessary to completely take away the blanket and leave a bad memory with over it so we chose to replace it with another blanket. This new blanket was very much like his old one. I bought it at a second hand store. I did so hoping that because it was already used that it would feel somewhat worn in for him and it wouldn't feel so new. He wasn't as attached to this new blanket, as he was to the old one, but he accepted it because he had to and he learned to be content with it. One day, years later, he too chose to put his blanket away on his own, I guess he felt the time had come to give it up.












Sometimes in life there are things we hold onto because we find that they bring us comfort and security. As you can see in this picture my sweet little miss is carrying around a very worn, tattered and very loved on sheep skin. She carried it everywhere and slept with it every night for 4 years. It brought her so much joy and comfort over the years. Every time she rubbed on it she would suck two of her fingers. Because of the finger sucking her front teeth were growing in crooked. The dentist told me that if she stopped sucking her fingers by the time she was 5 yrs old her teeth would be alright and straighten out on their own. So I set out to accomplish that task by the time she was 5 yrs old. Her siblings had tried to get her to give up her baba many times over the years but she just didn't want to. I didn't feel it was necessary for her to do so yet so I never enforced what they were trying to get her to do. Her older sister did succeed in getting her to leave it at home a few times. It was during those times I saw a glimmer of hope that it might not be as hard as I thought it would be to get her to mentally give that thing up.

She is s smart little miss. When she heard what the dentist told me that day she stored that information away in the back of her mind. One day when she lost her baba she didn't seem worried and she didn't even ask me to find it for her. Normally if she put it down somewhere she would always ask me to help her find it. This time she didn't. My first reaction was to go and look for it for her on my own without her even asking. She always seems to have a harder time falling asleep without it. So I partially wanted to find it because of my own selfish reasons. I wanted her to be able to go right to sleep without delay. Not that she gets out of bed or anything but because when any of my children are awake I cannot seem to fall asleep. She would sit there awake sometimes until midnight. But then I felt like a small voice inside me said, you need to do what is best for her and not be selfish, because this too shall pass. She will eventually learn to fall asleep without her baba. Endure the late nights now so she will reap the benefits long after. This was my chance to help her let it go. She made a mature decision and it was my job to encourage and support that decision, so I did.

It has been approx 6 months now that she gave up her baba and her teeth are completely straight. She is proud of them and we are proud of her. The first thing I did was compliment how her decision paid off and her teeth were beautifully straight because of it.

I truly feel it is not a bad thing if your child has something innocent in their life that they enjoy holding onto. It is almost always innocent and temporary and many times they give it up on their own. If this item brings them joy, peace, comfort or security and is not harming them in anyway let them have it. Like my one son was allowed to have his blanket until it became a danger to him. Then he was made to let it go. My daughter was allowed to have her baba up until it would of effected her permanent teeth.

There are many little things in our own lives that God allows us to have. Things that we enjoy, things that bring us happiness and comfort also. It is when we allow those things to consume us that they should be removed from our lives. God is a very loving and very caring God. He wants us to be happy but he is also a very jealous God. If anything takes His place in your life He would want you to remove that thing from your life. As long as you are careful about what you allow into your life and the life of your children. As long as what you allow is something innocent like a baba then my heart believes God wouldn't object to it so I am the same way with my own children. But if God says to give it up or I tell my child it is time to give something up then it needs to be done right away and with a willing heart. A trusting heart. A heart that knows there is a good reason for the instruction.
Whether it is nothing more than a test to see if you will obey with your whole heart or not.

So dear ladies consider allowing those innocent things into the lives of your children. If you see it becomes a problem for them then deal with it accordingly. Otherwise let them enjoy it. Truly it is only for a very short season of their life and yours. I have yet had to take away any item that my children carried around with them. When the time came that they felt it was time to put it up they did so on their own. Just be careful not to get in the way or discourage their decision when that time does come. Take pictures and enjoy those moments they pass oh so fast! Hugs to you all!

Dearest Lord, Thank you for allowing me to keep those simple and innocent things in my life. I pray that you will continue to give me the discernment I need when it comes to guiding and raising my children. If there is ever anything in their life or mine that needs to be given up I pray you will give me the wisdom to see it and then the strength to do it. You are a wonderful God and I thank you for all you do! In Jesus name I pray, Amen~

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